Let's Talk About Relationships
Even the healthiest relationships sometimes go through a rough patch. We have all said or done something we regretted and have had to apologize for. That's because we're HUMAN! We make mistakes. We're learning how to be in relationships.
In a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP both partners feel valued, both share equally in decision making, and there is trust. Both partners feel SAFE to be themselves.
In an UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP one partner has control over the other and makes all the decisions, even controlling what that other person can say, do, wear, or who they can hang out with.
Everyone deserves to feel respected and valued in their realationships.
Let's Talk About Consent
What Is Consent?
Consent allows both partners to express what they do want to experience.
It can be a moment for both partners to openly express to each other what they’re looking for. The saying “yes means yes” can be empowering and useful in thinking about what consent is.
Consent is ongoing.
Both partners should keep giving and looking for consent. Just because you’ve given consent to an act before, doesn’t mean it becomes a “given” every time. This idea also relates to new relationships — just because you’ve given consent to something in a different relationship doesn’t make it “automatic” in a new relationship.
Consent is not a free pass.
Saying yes to one act doesn’t mean you are giving consent to other acts. Each requires its own consent. EX: Saying yes to oral sex doesn’t automatically mean you’re saying yes to intercourse.
Your relationship status does not make consent automatic.
If you’re married to someone, friends with someone, or dating someone, it doesn’t mean they ‘own’ your consent by default, or that you own theirs.
Consent can also be taken back at any time —
even if you’re in the midst of something and feeling uncomfortable, you always have the right to stop.
There’s no such thing as implied consent.
The absence of a “no” does not equal a “yes.” What you or a partner chooses to wear doesn’t mean that you or they are inviting unwanted sexual attention or “pre-consenting.” The same can be said for flirting, talking, showing interest or any other actions.
It’s not consent if you’re afraid to say no.
It’s not consent if you’re being manipulated, pressured, or threatened to say yes. It’s also not consent if you or a partner is unable to legitimately give consent, which includes being asleep, unconscious, under the influence of conscious-altering substances or not able to understand what you’re saying yes to.
Nonconsent means STOP.
If anyone involved isn’t consenting, then what is happening is or could be rape, sexual assault or abuse.
Contact CADA's Prevention Team
Are you interested in having CADA's Prevention Team speak to you or your group about recognizing and responding to unhealthy relationships or interpersonal abuse? Want to know more about what a healthy relationship looks like? We are avialable to do virtual presentations during COVID-19's Stay Home, Stay Healthy. We are happy to present to students, adults, community groups, faith communities, and service providers.
We also have a variety of resources available at no cost.
Get in touch with us today!
PO Box 190, Oak Harbor WA 98277 | Tel: 360-675-7057