All relationships exist on a spectrum from healthy to abusive
Even the healthiest relationships sometimes go through a rough patch. We have all said or done something we regretted and have had to apologize for. That's because we're HUMAN! We make mistakes. We're learning how to be in relationships.
In a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP both partners feel valued, both share equally in decision making, and there is trust. Both partners feel SAFE to be themselves.
In an UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP one partner has control over the other and makes all the decisions, even controlling what that other person can say, do, wear, or who they can hang out with.
Everyone deserves to feel respected and valued in their relationships.
A healthy relationship means that both you and your partner are…
Communicating: you talk openly about your problems listen to each other and respect each other’s opinions.
Respectful: you value each other as you are. You respect each other’s emotional, digital, and sexual boundaries.
Trusting: you believe what your partner has to say. You do not feel the need to prove each other's trustworthiness.
Honest: you're honest with each other but you can still keep some things private.
Equal: you make decisions together and hold each other to the same standards.
Enjoying personal time: you both can enjoy spending time apart, alone, or with others. You respect each other's need for time apart.
You may be in an unhealthy relationship if one or both partners is…
Not communicating: when problems arise, you fight or you don't discuss them at all.
Disrespectful: one or both partners are not considerate of the other’s feelings or personal boundaries.
Not trusting: one person doesn't believe what the other says, and/or feels entitled to invade their privacy.
Dishonest: one or both partners tell lies.
Trying to take control: one partner feels their desires and choices are more important than the other’s.
Only spending time with your partner: your partners community is the only one you socialize in.
Abuse is occurring in a relationship when one partner:
Communicates in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting, or demeaning.
Disrespects the feelings, thoughts, decisions, opinions, or physical safety of the other.
Physically hurts or injures the other partner by hitting, slapping, choking, pushing, shoving, or other forms of physical harm.
Blames the other partner for harmful actions, makes excuses for abusive actions, and/or minimizes abusive behavior.
Controls and isolates the other partner by telling them what to wear, who they can hang out with, where they can go, and/or what they can do.
Pressures or forces the other partner to do things they don't want to do; threatens, hurts, or blackmails their partner if they resist or say no.